Why do the batteries in smoke alarms and carbon monoxide alarms always go dead at midnight–and so beep every ten seconds all night long? [BEEP]

Why are the alarms hung so high on the ceilings that I can’t reach them, even with a ladder? [BEEP]

Why do they choose to die on a night when my husband is in at the hospital all night? [BEEP]

Why do they choose a night when I’m too busy to sleep in or nap the next day? [BEEP]

(I’ll give you one guess what happened last night.) [BEEP] (yawn)

Charlotte and I made a big mistake on the Weekly Challengers this week. It’s mostly my fault: I sent her the unfinished first draft of the WC instead of the completed one, and she didn’t catch it. So only the first two sentences of the full WC went out. Here’s what it was supposed to be:

Passion, by it’s very nature, is necessarily messy.

I wrote that about eight years ago, and it’s one of those “Truths” that has stood the test of time. When you’re passionate about something, you generally make a mess. Unfortunately, we tend to think of messes as “bad.” But they’re not. Nor are messes particularly good. They just are.

What matters, I think, is how those messes came about, and what you’re going to do about them. Where they called by passion or carelessness, by excitement or procrastination? And if (or rather, when) you make a mess, who’s going to clean it up?

So notice where things are getting messy this week. Is there passion involved, or just carelessness? And what are  you going to do about it?

How ironic that we made a mess of the WC dealing with making messes!

Since there are five Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays in this month, I have this week off–well , off from coaching appointments and business, planning and marketing meetings. And somehow or other, this week has filled up with social events–more social events in this one week than I usually enjoy over the space of a couple of months. I have something going on every day except Friday and Saturday. Gasp.

And that’s going to make it hard to stick to the diet.

Lunch out today with a friend (which will undoubtedly require wine), a virtual get together tomorrow night with more friends (and more wine), yoga (OK, that one will be healthy), “Drinks and conversation” on Thursday, and a Superbowl party on Sunday. Not to mention that my DH and I went out for a fantastic dinner this past Saturday, and yesterday was the regular monthly meeting of the Dining Divas. The Divas are a group of women who get together once a month to cook, drink, and eat. Yesterday was Thai. (It took two showers to get the smell of shrimp paste out of my hair.)

So as you can see, this week is absolutely filled with opportunities for food and drink. So the question is: should I plan on trying to stick to the diet this week, or just try to “maintain?” Is it a cop out to let it slide for a week, or is it the realistic approach? Is there a middle ground?

The last thing I want to do is to set myself up for failure with unrealistic expectations. Once I let my Gremlins get even a hint of possible failure, they’ll go to town, and make it well nigh impossible for me to continue on with my diet. They’ll convince me that I can’t possibly succeed. On the other hand, I don’t want to “give up” either–another fantastic piece of ammunition for my Gremlins. I think the trick is going to be to try and walk that tricky tight rope of “middle ground.” Be reasonable when I’m out and very, very careful when I’m home.

Which means giving up some of my little indugences at home, something I haven’t managed to do with any consistency. It goes back to choosing what I’m saying “yes” to and what I’m saying “no” to.

It will be interesting to see what the scales say at the end of the week!

This morning  I posted (a much prettier word than “blogged”) about becoming vain and self-centered, only partially in jest. I wrote those words as I noticed that the habits I was listing were all about trying to look my best. Bleaching teeth, wearing make-up, (fixing my hair, I forgot to mention that one), night-time facial rituals–all were about my appearance. To defuse this feeling of vanity, I made that comment about becoming vain.

And then Charlotte, my VA (who has been way more than the “assistant” her VA designation suggests!) asked me a question. (We were talking on the phone at the time.)

I don’t remember her exact phrasing (So Charlotte, next time, post it as a comment, and maybe I’ll get it right!) but it was something about me being vain. And then she added something about how we all thought being vain was a bad thing. And it wasn’t.

Wow! Talk about a needed slap upside the head. I had been thinking about all that I was doing as somewhat shallow, trivial, and petty, when it really isn’t that at all. It’s what I need to be doing for me. It’s self care. It helps keep me on track with my diet. So it’s really not shallow, trivial and petty.

So why did I go there? I can come up with a couple of reasons. I’ve been watching shallow and petty “junk” reality TV lately, pumping up my ego thinking I’m above all that. Which I (or my Gremlins) took to mean I was “above” trying to look my best.

And also, I’ve been letting my spiritual connection slide for a while. I’ve not been paying enough attention to my deeper self, and it’s starting to ask for attention. Cuz yeah, there’s been a void there. I guess it’s time I started looking there again.

It’s going to be an interesting year . . .

It’s interesting how changing one habit (dieting) has affected the rest of my life. Mostly in a positive way, I must add.

For example, I have “done my face” every single day since I started my diet. Yes, I’m actually putting on make up every morning, and following my cleansing, toning, and moisturizing ritual every night. I’ve taken my vitamins faithfully. I’ve even managed to follow through bleaching my teeth.  (I’m going to be one bee-you-tee-ful woman! And vain. And self-absorbed. ) And more than that: my closet has stayed neat and organized (that’s since October!), my bed is made every morning, and the house has stayed tidy. I’ve been cooking dinner at home instead of eating out on a regular basis (about six times a week.)

And I’m proud of all that.

On the other hand, I’ve become, well, obsessed may be too strong a word, but it’s close, with keeping up on all those details. I have to have my bed made, my bedroom, bathroom and closet clean and neat before I leave the room. I have to cook dinner every night, no matter what DH’s schedule–or mine for that matter. And I have to get up as soon as I’ve finished eating and start to clean the kitchen.

Partially because I’m so busy, we’re spending less quality time together. But now that I write this, I’m wondering which came first. Am I spending the time being Little Suzie Homemaker (not that there’s anything intrinsically wrong with that) because we’ve been spending so little time together or are we spending so little time together becasue I’m Little Suzie Homemaker? Hmm. Something to think about.

Well, Muse fans, if you’ve been wondering what’s happened to me the last few days, well, I’ve been wondering too. I seem to have gotten lost in a maze of organizational frenzy, which is an oxymoron if there ever was one. For a full week–seven solid days–I’ve been sorting, tidying, discarding, and arranging. One full banker’s box went to the shredder, two more to recycle, and another two were donated. That’s not to mention the 20 gallons of trash that I actually discarded.

And you should see my office now! It’s clean and neat and organized to within an inch of my life.

OK, I didn’t really risk my life, although I did experience several near-fatal paper cuts. Five of them, all on the same three fingers.

It was quite an experience. I told you I’d hired an organizer (Mira Gold) to help out. She spent five hours with me on Saturday, digging through files, sorting out drawers, even wiping down closet shelves. She had some great ideas and suggestions too, for all those niggledly little bits and pieces of flotsam and jetsam that littered my desk. You know, those very important scraps of paper with an idea or phone number or password or date scribbled on it. The ones you don’t dare file cuz you’re afraid  you’ll lose them. Well, they now have their very own box on the side of my desk. It’s a nice wooden “in box,” and believe me, it’s a lot easier to go through that one box to find something than to sort through piles and piles and piles of stuff on my desk.

So what have I learned from all this? Well . . .

• Keeping on top of things is way easier than playing catch-up. And even if I do stay on top of things, it’s still worth while to sort through them once in a while.
• Organizers aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty. At least Mira wasn’t. She was right in there with me, with the dust rag and furniture polish and vacuum cleaner.
• Just because someone has a system or an idea, that doesn’t mean it’s the right one for you. Mira had plenty of ideas and suggestions. Some we implemented, some we adapted to suit me, and some we just tossed out. Mira said she actually enjoyed it when a client participated in designing systems, rather than taking what she said as gospel. Then she’s more confident the system will get used, and will actually work, than if she just “imposes” something. On the other hand, it’s worthwhile listening to all the ideas with an open mind, because there’s likely to be something in all of them that you can use. (I think this applies to just about everything.)
• If you have a place for something, it’s easier to put it away than if you have to invent a place for it every time. Mira made me look at every piece of paper, and then would ask me where it went.  If I didn’t know, or if it didn’t have a place, we made one for it.
• Space management requires time management, and vice versa, and they both require commitment and self-discipline. If I put my bits of flotsam and jetsam in the wooden in-box, I need to remember to check it regularly. If I keep my on-going projects in a hanging file on my desk instead of in piles, I need to take them out and put them back. And I need to remember to work on them. Which means I need to keep track of them on my calendar.
• I have to make time to keep up the systems we’ve created, yet by creating those systems, I have more time and energy for other things, and I’m not stressed and worried that something is going to fall through the cracks.

So now I’m all neat and tidy and organized. My office is now an office again, instead of a giant storage closet. The next step? New paint (I’m thinking greens with rust and cream accents; something lively and soothing at the same time), crown molding and shampooing the carpet. And maybe a new window treatment. And a new bookshelf. And a new printer and computer and . . .

But the worst part is over!

Just a quick bit of feline cuteness — As I was getting ready to print something out, I noticed that my printer was sitting in the sun–and had attracted a cat. Loki, the skitzy tortoisehell, was sitting on top of the printer basking in the warmth. When the printer started up, she perked up, and watched with fascination (and a helpful paw or two) as the paper fed through the machine and came out on the other side. I actually paused in what I was doing to watch her. I’m still smiling.

It’s just a little thing, but it was also a gift of a moment of peace and joy. How lucky I am to have a cat–and to be able to appreciate these little gifts.

Just a quick note: I screwed my courage to the sticking point and got on the scale this morning and guess what? I haven’t gained an ounce! In fact, if anything, I may have lost about half a pound. The scale can’t decide between two numbers, and the lower one is one I’ve not seen for a very long while!

Now that gives me motivation to get back on track.

I’ve been very, very bad the past four days. Friday was deliberate. My husband was on call over night (meaning he’d be in at the hospital instead of at home), and I’d decided to make it a “Date with myself” night. That meant my favorite foods (crab legs with melted butter, and an artichoke and cheese), a bottle of champagne, chick-flicks (or art flicks or classics; but movies DH wouldn’t probably enjoy), a candlelit bubble bath with my kind of music (Celtic), incense . . . You get the picture.

It was wonderful!

Saturday my organizer was here. I was pretty good during the day, but let myself snack (wine and cheese) all evening. Empty, unneccessary, and delicious calories. And for some reason, I just couldn’t get on top of my diet at all yesterday. Or today. I absolutely dread getting on the scale; in fact, I’ve been avoiding it.

Tomorrow I have to do better. I must!

Happy Birthday, Mom!

What things have you started in the past that you’ve never completed? Was there a habit you were going to change, a project you let slide, perhaps a subject you wanted to know more about but never got around to exploring. You probably have dozens of things you’ve let fall by the wayside. I know I do.

Certainly, you’ve outgrown some of those things, or your interests have changed and you’ve moved on. But some of those semi-forgotten ideas linger on in the back of your mind, popping up now and then to give you a twinge of guilt or regret.

Take some time this week to sit down and list all those things that still crop up once in a while. Then take a hard look at them. Do they still interest you? Do you have the time, money and energy to pursue them right now? Are they important enough to move up on your mental priority list?

If the answer to the above questions is “no,” then let them go. You don’t need them cluttering up your mind and stealing your energy. But if they still interest you, then make a conscious decision about what to do with them. You can resurrect them and start to act on them. Or you can leave them on the back burner until you have more space in your life to pursue them fully. The choice is yours.

But no matter what you do, this simple exercise will help to clear out some of that guilt and regret that hangs around us all.

Until next week, may the Muse live happily in your heart, and may passion bloom in your soul,

Lynn